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The hubby and I have, for the most part, stuck to not eating fast food and not drinking soda. But reality happens and bites you in the ass and things can spiral a bit.

A few weeks ago was the hubby’s birthday. He likes to take his birthday off from work. I got the crazy notion that we would get away for a couple of days. I started planning. Rooms, dates, dates, rooms, prices, location, inviting our daughter and her boyfriend…

I am not entirely sure when and how it happened, but it ended up turning into a full-fledged camping trip. Tents, sleeping bags, and campfire cooking. Originally, we were going to visit Payson, AZ. But we have been there a couple of times, and I do like to go places we have never been. We ended up camping near the south rim of Grand Canyon National Park. 4 people, 2 tents, 3 dogs, and 2 very cold nights. We have become very accustomed to the valley of the sun, and so we were quite miserable at night.

After returning home, one of our dogs, the oldest and smallest had started to show signs of not being his normal self. He had hip problems and was older, so we waited it out, thinking he would get better or he wouldn’t, because he was, after all, an older dog.

Two weeks after our camping trip, our little boy Sam passed away. It has been a week now. Things still are not normal around the house. The other dogs seem to be mourning the loss as well.

This last week has had us making not such good choices about food. I was so close to my next goal of 300 pounds that I am terrified to step on a scale right now.

Maybe, now that our pup is at rest, we will adapt to our loss and find our way again.

Sometimes we falter because of the shit throws our way. Part of the process is learning that it will happen and that we need to allow ourselves the time to grow and adapt.

Did a weigh-in this morning. I wasn’t looking forward to it. It isn’t that I haven’t been sticking to eating better, but emotionally, I have been out of sorts. It has hindered my motivation and altered my food choices a little. For the most part, we have stayed on our path.

My husband is starting to embrace it. It helps that we aren’t denying cravings. We don’t buy food that will tempt us into over indulging. And trying new stuff regularly. We made our own frozen yogurt. Today, I had an opportunity to get a snickerdoodle cookie, so we did, and we shared it.

Anyway, since our last weigh-in, I’m down 4 pounds, and the husband is down 6.

I don’t want to be obsessive about weighing in. I watch the scale and find defeat and stop trying.

I thought that this was just getting to be too much. I’m still looking for just the right app for keeping a food journal, but that is another day problem.

I stopped weighing myself for a couple weeks because I hadn’t seen significant changes in the numbers. 318 today ❤️ still totally obese, but absolutely making progress.

I have been having a pretty good start at trying to eat better and drink better.

Yesterday was a little hard, working in a pizza place. So little time to eat and pizza is perfect to grab a slice and have a bite or two between tasks. But I really have gotten to the point of eating pizza because it is there and not because I am hungry. But when I caught myself going through the pizzas to see what was there, I grabbed my lunch bag and had some apple slices, cottage cheese, tomatoes and cucumbers, or oranges. It got me through the day without having pizza. But I almost caved and wanted McDonald’s after work because I had no idea what we were going to eat when we got home. But we had leftover tamales and some salad at home that I had decided on, so I was able to save us from that bad choice.

Also, we have had almost no soda in the last week. It was our beverage of choice. In the past month I had stopped drinking so much cola and had started drinking lemon lime sodas. It wasn’t intended, I just had lost my taste for the cola. But now, we are drinking iced tea (sweetened with splenda) and water. Normally, I break and go right back to soda because of the caffeine withdrawal, but because I had inadvertently switched to caffeine free prior to going to tea, it hasn’t been so bad. I was suffering from edema a lot more and was looking for a more natural way to help it.

I weighed myself, out of curiosity, because I hadn’t weighed myself in months. I felt like I must have gained a lot of weight because my clothes were feeling tight. When you are already obese, you don’t want to see those numbers go up. But to my surprise, I was still the same weight. A relief really, considering this year has sucked and I am an emotional eater.

But I have had a really good week considering it was the holidays, and part of me wants to step on the scale and see if I have lost any weight. But I also know I will be disappointed and don’t want to set myself up for that.

So the question remains… To weigh or not to weigh?

I always have plenty of thoughts that I could make thousands of posts, but being an older adult with unofficial attention deficits, I lose my way fast.These posts aren’t exactly for the public, more a journal type idealogy for me.

With a new year approaching and a desire to make significant changes, I want to attempt to document these things.

Over the last couple of years, so much has changed. Three things that haven’t are: money is tight, work is mundane, and we are overweight.

I have already gotten the mindset that I am going to lose weight. This time, though, I am changing my mentality, approaching it. I am no longer going to think breakfast, lunch, dinner… instead, it will be early, mid, and late meal.

If we want to have traditional breakfast food for late meal or salad for early meal, then we will. I have always got so hung up on thinking inside the box that it has made it hard to stick to anything. Plus working on the concept of what a meal is.

We need to break our pattern of what we think we should be eating. Sooooo… here is the start of trying to make changes.

It has been really tempting to head out for a burger after work, so I didn’t have to come home and figure out what we were eating. Last night, that definitely crossed my mind, and I’m pretty sure the husband was thinking about it too.

He suggested subway (there is a 24-hour one in a truck stop, not too far away). However, I was bad and we didn’t eat before we left and I didn’t pack us anything to eat. We set ourselves up to cave. I did order take out. Half sandwich and salad. I think with the options available, I made a solid choice.

We are off for today and tomorrow. I have a plan to try to precook some meat, rice, and pasta. I also plan on cutting up some fruit and veggies. I have tried before, but I am thinking a little differently this time.

Anyway, procrastinate for now. I have things to do soon.

So, for some context, my husband and I are on the back half of our life span. What most people refer to as middle aged. Still not senior citizens, but old enough to question why not.

I’m not going to give a lot of “it could be” excuses, short and simple is, we have gotten fat. I have been overweight for quite a while and in the past year or two, he has went from beer belly to kegger.

His last visit to the doctor had him the closest to 300 pounds he has ever been. He came home all fired up. “This has got to change, now!”

I agree with him 100%. Sometimes the best strategy is to let them think things are their ideas.

So now we are changing our eating habits. Ironically enough, it is forcing us to eat. Both of us have fallen into a pattern of skipping meals, possibly grazing on bad food just to get through the day and then often getting burgers just because neither of us wants to cook dinner after work.

We had tried to meal prep before and it went sideways pretty fast. We aren’t focusing on meal prep, mostly just trying to change the skipping meals by having snacks and a light lunch so maybe our body will stop storing so much for fuel.

It is always my intentions to start a blog for myself… and usually something I forget to do. Time will tell.